ADAM SANDLER - I'm So Wasted



[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]
[Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"
[M2:] "I'm so wasted, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"
[M2:] "Thanks man."
[Joe:] "It's good party, huh?"
[M2:] "Oh, it's great man."
[Joe:] "Hey that's some good acid, huh?"
[M2:] "Oh, killer man."
[Joe:] "Hey, my pleasure."
[M2:] "I've never been higher."
[Joe:] "Oh ho,
ou must be freaking out."
[M2:] "Acid's great man."
[Joe:] "It's the best."
[M2:] "Everytime I do acid man, I'm so high."
[Joe:] "Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now."
[M2:] "This is the best acid, man."
[Joe:] "What are you seein, man?"
[M2:] "Oh, I, that cloud up there, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa"
[M2:] "It's got a vein in it."
[Joe:] "Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?"
[M2:] "And it's bleeding on me, man."
[Joe:] "It's bleeding on ya? Well watch out!"
[M2:] "Look at my hand, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah?"
[M2:] "It-It's moving, but it's not moving."
[Joe:] "It's not?"
[M2:] "It's still there, but it looks like it's moving."
[Joe:] "Hey, yeah to you it is."
[M2:] "I'm so high."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you must be flipping out."
[M2:] "I'm flipping out off it."
[Joe:] "Hallucinations, man."
[M2:] "Acid..right."
[Joe:] "Hey, I got some news fer ya."
[M2:] "I'm seeing stuff, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, yer seeing stuff."
[M2:] "RIght."
[Joe:] "Well, that's what happens when you take acid, but you know what?"
[M2:] "What man?"
[Joe:] "Uhhh, that really wasn't acid.
That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."
[Silence]

[M2:] "Wha? It's probly this weed I'm smokin', man."
[Joe:] "Oh, that weed."
[M2:] "That Thai bud, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything's hilarious."
[Joe: Laughing] "That's funny man. Look at that guy."
[M2: Laughing] "That's funny man."
[Joe: Laughing] "Look at that guy's hat man."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything's funny to me, man."
[Joe:] "Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke? A few joints, man?"
[M2:] "I had about four."
[Joe:] "Whoa, that's a lot of bones to be smokin', man."
[M2:] "The whole thing's man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you sucked 'em down yerself."
[M2:] "Ain't that hilarious!?"
[Joe:] "You didn't wanna share, didja?"
[M2:] "It was great stuff, man."
[Joe:] "Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too."
[M2:] "Hey what man?"
[Joe:] "That's the stuff I sold you, right?
[M2:] "Yeah, right."
[Joe:] "Yeah"
[M2:] "It's funny, man."
[Joe:] "Well, well, uh.."
[M2:] "I'm wasted off it, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, well that's good. You smoked it, right?"
[M2:] "Right."
[Joe:] "Well that really wans't weed."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "No it wasn't, it was pencil shavings in a bag."
[Silence]

[Joe:] "Yeah."
[M2:] "Well, it's probably this beer.
This beer I'm drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something.
Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa, oh really!?"
[M2:] "I'm just..wasted off 'em."
[Joe:] "That's a lot of beer for a man to drink."
[M2:] "Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man."
[Joe:] "You didn't dump 'em out in the woods, didja?"
[M2:] "No..no..no.. I drank all of them."
[Joe:] "Right, yeah. I saw you..that's good. Hey didja eat today?"
[M2:]"No, I'm on an empty stomach."
[Joe:] "Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."
[M2:] "..And that's why I'm so wasted off it man, it's like I'm seeing things, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you can hardly stand, man."
[M2:] "You should take my car keys, cuz I can't drive, man."
[Joe:] "Right, right."
[M2:] "I can barely walk."
[Joe:] "Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they're half shut."
[M2:] "There's two of you, man. I can't see anymore, man, I'm blind!"
[Joe:] "Right.. I got the beers, huh? I'm the man, right?"
[M2:] "Yeah, you are the man."
[Joe:] "Say it. Say I'm the man."
[M2:] "Yer da man!!"
[Joe:] "Okay, well that beer.."
[M2:] "Yeah?"
[Joe:] "There was no alcohol in that beer."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "That was non-alcoholic.
So..uhh..again, I'm gonna have to bust you on this one.
You're lying."
[Silence]

[M2: Mumbling] "I'll be right back."
[Joe:] "Ok,



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