Joining The Cult
Listenin' To The Radio
The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
Toll Booth Willie
The Lonesome Kicker
The Beating Of A High School Janitor
The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
Four Years Old
Assistant Principal's Big Day
The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
The Longest Pee
by: ADAM SANDLER
[Sound of pom-poms]
[Cheerleader: With annoying feminine voice]
"Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!"
[Cheerleader:] "United, we are united.. We'll be 'cause we're the
Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!"
[Cheerleader:] "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!"
[Still no response]
[Cheerleader:] "Come on! The girls volleyball team's got a big game tonight!
And we're gonna win 'cause we're the -"
[Guy in crowd:] "Sit down!"
[Cheerleader:] "You guys are assholes!" [Whining]
"You think this is easy being a cheerleader!?
Let's see you come down here and try it!"
[Guy:] "Shut up!"
[Cheerleader:] "You're the one who should be shutting up!
This is my senior year of cheerleading and you're ruining it!
I paid for my pom-poms with my own money." [Half-crying]
[Guy:] "You suck!"
[Cheerleader: Hurt] "I was gonna do a split for you guys,
but now I'm not gonna cuz you guys don't appreciate anything."
[Something hurled and hit Cheerleader]
[Cheerleader:] "Owwww! Who threw that!?
I'm gonna get a bruise now! I hate my school!" [Whining]
[Crowd cheering softly in background]
[Guy:] "We're sorry."
[Guy:] "Just kidding, you suck!"
[Cheerleader: Half-crying] "Ahhaw..No..."
Next: The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal
Previous: The Chanuka Song