ADAM SANDLER - Do It For Your Mama
[J.N.:] "I can make a bigger splash than you!"
[Jimmy:] "Oh yeah, give it a shot."
[While jumping up and down on diving board]
[J.N.:] "Can opener!"
[Big splash]
[Jimmy:] "Man, that one was huge."
[J.N.:] "You go."
[While running towards pool]
[Jimmy:] "Ahhhh, jacknife!"
[Jumps in and small splash]
[Tracy:] "That was a dud, Jimmy."
[Jimmy:
[Tracy:] "You shutup."
[Door opens, walks over]
[Momma:] "Lunch time kids."
[Kids yelling happily]
[Momma:] "I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantelope.
I figured you could eat a little food and and then maybe play with yer cock and balls fer a while."
[J.N.:] "I'm just gonna eat, mom."
[Momma:] "All right. And then maybe a little later, you can play with yer cock and balls fer momma."
[J.N.:] "I don't think so."
[Momma:] "Ok. Slow down Jimmy, yer already halfway done with yer sandwhich.
You're gonna get a belly ache."
[Jimmy:] "No I'm not. I'm hungry."
[Momma:] "I know, but you shouldn't so fast.
You're rushing honey, you're gonna choke. Put down your sandwhich and beat off your cock and balls for a little bit. Pace yourself."
[Jimmy:] "Oh god."
[Momma:] "Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?"
[Tracy:] "No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat."
[Momma:] "What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy."
[Tracy:] "Guy said last summer I looked better in a bathing suit, so I'm gonna try to lose like three or four pounds."
[Momma:] "Awww, sweetheart.
You've got so much to learn.
Guy doesn't want you to lose weight, baby.
It's just his way of telling you he wants you to smack around his cock and balls some more, honey.
He's got some balls and some cock. You gotta stroke his schlong or at least bite his nuts."
[Tracy:] "Mom!"
[Momma:] "You're scared, aren't ya honey.
You want momma to help you?
Momma will stroke Guy's penis for him.
No one has to know. I'll sneak in when it's dark."
[Tracy:] "No! Mom, please!"
[Momma:] "You don't know how to tug on the cock and balls?
You need momma to show you?
Get me a carrot, sweetheart.
Where are you going!?"
[J.N.:] "Mom, where's the suntan lotion?"
[Momma:] "It's under the chair baby.
You gonna lube up yer cock and balls and wack it for a little bit?"
[J.N.:] "Uhh, no. I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt."
[Momma:] "Smart thinking honey.
And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him."
[Jimmy:] "Mom!"
[Momma:] "What Jimmy. Why don't you let your brother wack your cock and nuts for a little bit.
You're not playing with them right now so why not let him. Share, baby!"
[Jimmy:] "You're weird mom! I'm going swimming!"
[Momma:] "Oh, you shouldn't swim for a half an hour. I read that."
[Jimmy:] "Why?"
[Momma:] "Because you just ate, honey.
And you'll get cramps.
Why don't you just lay on the side of the pool and jiggle your balls for momma."
[Jimmy:] "It's ok. I'll stay in the shallow end."
[Momma:] "Ok, baby. But don't hurt yourself with that big juicy hog of yours."
[Jimmy:] "Hey, J.N. Throw me that frisby."
[J.N.:] "Here! Whoops!"
[Sails over and falls to the ground]
[Jimmy:] "Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard."
[Momma:] "Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it.
Momma will make everything all right.
J.N. you watch Jimmy and make sure he's safe in that water."
[J.N.:] "Ok, ma."
[Momma:] "And if you want you can beat your cock and balls. Hi Mr. Chasen!"
[Mr. Chasen: "Oh, hi Emily. How are you?"
[Momma:] "Oh, the boys threw the frisbee over the fence again.
And there it is under the bush."
[Mr. Chasen:] "I'll get it for you."
[Momma:] "Sorry. Thank you.
And while your under that bush, why don't you jack around your cock and balls for yourself.
You can stare at my jugs and play with that healthy wang of yours."
[Mr. Chasen:] "No, I'll just.. I'll just get your frisbee."
[Momma:] "All right baby."
[Mr. Chasen:] "Here you go."
[Momma:] "Thank you. Thanks. Thank Mr. Chasen, boys!"
[Boys:] "Thanks Mr. Chasen!"
[Mr. Chasen:] "You're welcome fellas."
[Momma:] "Have a good day.
Oh, and..and tell your son Tommy,
if he wants to come over later and play with his cock and balls with the kids he's always welcome.
I don't know what happened with him a
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ACTION ACTION - This Years Fashion
<br />Don't cut your fabric to this years fashion<br /><br />Head trip on the scene again, pumping in the veins of the rabid mouths to feed.<br />Head back, obsolete...trapped with the secrets that i can not keep today<br /><br />Head sp... ADAM GREGORY - Big Star
<br />I work at the Big Star on old 405 <br />I make 6 bucks an hour <br />And I work steady nights<br />Well it might not be much <br />but it's all that I need<br />In that little glass booth <br />in that highway to dreams<br /><br />... ADAM GREGORY - City Boy's Dream
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<br />I remember Dad and I <br />Stopped the car one rainy night <br />To help a stranger fix a flat <br />And get on his way <br />And I said Daddy do you know that man <br />Was he one of your friends <br />And he just smiled Said let ... ADAM GREGORY - End Of This Road
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<br />Sittin' on the front porch <br />Rockin' on the porch swing<br />Wayon on the radio <br />Listen to the crickets sing<br />Hi yi yippi yi<br />Yippi yi yeah<br /><br />While the suns shines <br />better make hay yeah<br />I'm feeli... ADAM GREGORY - I Don't Think So
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<br />I was born in the country<br />Far away from city lights <br />Where the air is sweeter <br />Where I feel I feel alright<br />In the country I was born and raised <br />In the country, yeah <br />In the country <br />That's where ... ADAM GREGORY - Indian Summer
<br />The sun goes down on another day <br />Feels like winter is here to stay <br />Snow clouds gather in the northern sky <br />Looks like it's gonna be a cold dark night <br />Summer seems like a long lost friend I pray for the warmth... ADAM GREGORY - It Ain't Cool
<br />I used to wonder why the songs on the radio<br />always seemed to be about love<br />If you look every book, every TV show<br />is just full of that stuff<br /><br />They write about it, talk about it<br />inside and out<br />They ... ADAM GREGORY - Leavin' That Cowgirl With The Blues
<br />He's been riding that rodeo<br />From town to town <br />From show to show<br />He's got a restless wandering soul<br />His horse and saddle is his home<br /><br />And she loves him<br />more than he knows<br />Yeah she loves him<b... ADAM GREGORY - Me Too
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<br />How do you explain the way the stars just <br />hang way up in the sky<br />How do you explain the way rain goes away <br />whenever you walk by<br /><br />It's a mystery just how life can lead <br />to a place you've never been<br... ADAM GREGORY - Sky Is The Limit
<br />I sat on the couch, with a book in my hand<br />I thought of all the good times that I've had<br />But even though life's sometimes hard<br />and it's hard to understand<br />The sky is the limit, so do with it what you can<br /><b... ADAM GREGORY - Sweet Memories
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<br />She stares at that ring on her finger<br />with a far away look in her eyes<br />She thinks of the memories that linger<br />of the good days that quickly flew by<br /><br />And she remembers the day <br />When a young man would sa... ADAM GREGORY - The World Could Use A Cowboy
<br />There are fences that need to be mended <br />There's a stray cut off from the herd <br />That needs to be defended By a lonely campfire<br />Underneath the stars He sings his sad songs<br />And strums his guitar I tell you what th... ADAM GREGORY - Too Young To Know
<br />They say we're too young to know<br />We're too young to fall in love<br />But all I keep dreaming of<br />is marrying you<br /><br />They say we're too young to know<br />Then how come it hurts inside<br />And how come I cry at ni... ADAM GREGORY - Walking
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<br />I dreamt last night I was far away<br />Where coyotes howl and cotton woods sway<br />Casting shadows in firelight<br />A cowboy moon burns so bright<br /><br />I'd like to think John Wayne's out there<br />On his horse the wind in... ADAM GREGORY - When I Leave This House
<br />Just like Cain & Able<br />I let the devil come 'round<br />Now I'm the king of the garden<br />With a snake for a crown<br />When the lord points his finger <br />Baby I'm goin' down<br />Well, I'm no Hells Angel<br />But I like t... ADAM GREGORY - Where It's At
<br />I've got a window down <br />I've got a road in front of me <br />I've got a radio <br />I got no place that I gotta be <br />And it feels so fine to be killing time<br />And it feels so free to just shoot the breeze <br />And wher... ADAM GREGORY - Workin' On It
<br />I won't lie <br />Sometimes it seems just too much to ask<br />For love to last I play the strong one holding on<br />Keeping it together <br />The man with the plan<br />When I know better baby <br />All I can do Is hold on to you... ADAM SANDLER - Assistant Principal's Big Day
<br /><i>[Speaking through a microphone]</i><br />"Good morning students and faculty, <br />If I could have your attention please.<br />As you may, or may not know, <br />Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to... ADAM SANDLER - At A Medium Pace
<br />Put your arms around me baby<br />Can't you see I need you so<br />Hold me close against your skin<br />I'm about to begin<br />Lovin' you<br /><br />Spit on your hand and stroke my cock<br />At a medium pace<br />Play with my ball... ADAM SANDLER - Bad Boyfriend
<br />Why don't you pick up after your done?<br />I'm not your slave<br />I'm not your mother<br />I'm not your maid<br />I mean I've got a life too<br />So fuck you!<br /><br />Why can't you be nicer to my friend?<br />They're gonna be ... ADAM SANDLER - Buddy
<br /><i>[Moving Train]</i><br />"Next stop! Coopersville!"<br /><br /><i>[Two guys talking]</i><br />"Hey Buddy"<br />"Buddy!"<br />"How was the bathroom Buddy, pretty gruesome?"<br />"Buddy, I had to hold my breath Buddy!"<br />"Eheh B... ADAM SANDLER - Cordurory Blues
<br />When I was a boy<br />There was no limit to what I could eat<br />Shake after shake after shake after shake<br />Followed by all kinds of red meat<br />Metabolism runnin' around so fast<br />My body never gained to weight<br />That... ADAM SANDLER - Crazy Love
<br /><i>[Adam:]</i> You don't mind that I think everybody's a robot and all my conversations are being recorded<br /><i>[Lisa:]</i> And you don't mind that all of my pants are way too short on me <br />and I also stabbed someone with a ... ADAM SANDLER - Dancin' And Pantsin'
<br />When I was a young man<br />I didn't like to dance<br />I was shy<br />I'd stand against the wall all night<br />I'd never take a chance<br />So afraid<br />I wouldn't get on that dance floor<br />Unless I was really drunk<br />10 ... ADAM SANDLER - Dip Doodle
<br />Jabawokee ding dong slip slap slee<br />Dipstick paddywhack pee pee googalee gee<br />Polly wolly sling slang skooey dibbely doo<br />Wing wong ping pong king kong Cheech 'n Chong hop hip kagagoogoo<br /><br />Hickory dickory slick... ADAM SANDLER - Do It For Your Mama
<br /><i>[J.N.:]</i> "I can make a bigger splash than you!"<br /><i>[Jimmy:]</i> "Oh yeah, give it a shot."<br /><br /><i>[While jumping up and down on diving board]</i><br /><i>[J.N.:]</i> "Can opener!"<br /><i>[Big splash]</i><br /><i>... ADAM SANDLER - Fatty McGee
<br /><i>[Talking quietly]</i><br /><i>[M1:]</i> "Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man."<br /><i>[M2:]</i> "We just had a test a week ago. <br />Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!"<br /><i>[M1:]</i> "And it counts for 80 perc... ADAM SANDLER - Food Innuendo Guy
<br />Ooooh yeah<br />Baby, baby, baby, I wanna stew your tomato<br />Baby, baby, baby, I want to french fry your potato<br />Baby, baby, baby, won't you pluck my grapes<br />Won't you peel my banana like a pack of wild apes?<br />I'm yo... ADAM SANDLER - Four Years Old
<br />Hey<br />Why'd you wake me from my nap?<br />I'm not in the mood<br />To play your games<br />Or sit on your lap<br /><br />You<br />Where's my Yankees drinking glass?<br />I want some juice<br />And I want it now<br />So you bette... ADAM SANDLER - Girl
<br /><i>[Arsenio (Chris Rock):]</i><br />Now don't leave us hanging with just that. <br /><br /><i>[JP:]</i><br />Yeah, I hear that, Arsenio.<br />Yo guys, lets kick it! <br /><br /><i>[Music starts playing]</i><br /><br /><i>[JP:]</i><... ADAM SANDLER - Grow Old With You
<br /><i>[Billy Idol (Speaking):]</i> Good afternoon everyone. <br />We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving<br />up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies<br />all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringin you some ... ADAM SANDLER - I'm So Wasted
<br /><i>[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]</i><br /><i>[Joe:]</i> "Hey pal! How ya doin?"<br /><i>[M2:]</i> "I'm so wasted, man."<br /><i>[Joe:]</i> "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"<br /><i>[M2:]</i> "Thanks man."<br /><i>[Joe:]</i> ... ADAM SANDLER - Joining The Cult
<br /><i>[Sounds of Basketball being shot around]</i><br /><i>[Sandler:]</i> "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult."<br /><i>[Allen:]</i> "Now, that's ridiculous."<br /><i>[Sandler:]</i> "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too."... ADAM SANDLER - Listenin' To The Radio
<br />Where's my Peggy Sue?<br />I could use a Rosalita<br />If there's a Long Tall Sally out there<br />I'm dyin' to meet her<br />Why can't I hear Beth callin' me?<br />Why can't I be the one to make Sara smile?<br />I wish I was arm i... ADAM SANDLER - Lunchlady Land
<br />"This is a song..."<br />"This is uhh, This is a new song..."<br />"It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."<br />"The Lunchlady"<br /><i>[Laughing]</i><br /><br />Woke up in the morning<br />Put on my ... ADAM SANDLER - Medium Pace
<br />Put your arms around me babe,<br />Can't you see I need you so?<br />Hold me close against your skin,<br />'Cause I'm about to begin<br />Lovin' you.<br /><br />Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace.<br />Play with ... ADAM SANDLER - Memory Lane
<br /><i>[M1:]</i> "Hey, it's great to have us all out on a road trip again this is gonna be fun"<br /><i>[all agree]</i><br /><i>[M2:]</i> "Whoa,do you smell that skunk"<br /><i>[All:]</i> "Yeah<br /><i>[M2:]</i> "You know, even though ... ADAM SANDLER - Mother's Day Song
<br />Mama was the one who reached down and tied my shoelace.<br />Mama spit on her fingers and used it to clean dirt off my face. <br /><br />Brush your teeth, Q-tip your ear,<br />take off your sister's new brassiere.<br />Watch PBS, n... ADAM SANDLER - Moyda
<br />Schnine<br />He's a pretty good guy<br />He's nice to his neighbors<br />You can count on him to buy your school candy bars<br />He's a real nic guy<br />He's always got the jumper cables<br />He'll take your mail in when you're on... ADAM SANDLER - Mr. Bake-O
<br />I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV<br />It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see<br />I just lit some crazy ass shit<br />that my friend overnight mailed to me<br /><br />I'm fucking wasted<br />It's the best shit I e... ADAM SANDLER - Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
<br /><i>[Phone Rings]</i><br /><i>[Mr. Spindel picks it up]</i><br /><i>[Mr Spindel:]</i> "Hullo!"<br /><i>[Student: Whispering]</i> "Hey Mr. Spindel. How's algebra class going?" <br /><i>[Chuckling]</i><br /><i>[Mr Spindel:]</i> "Whut!... ADAM SANDLER - My Little Chicken
<br />When I'm feeling down<br />And feeling sad<br />You come around<br />And make me glad<br />I got you<br />Oh, my little chicken<br /><br />I love your feet<br />I love your breasts<br />I love the way you eat gravel<br />To help yo... ADAM SANDLER - Oh Mom...
<br /><i>[Silverware clicking]</i><br /><i>[M1:]</i> "Can you pass the beats please?"<br /><i>[F1:]</i> "Here you go"<br /><i>[M1:]</i> "Thanks"<br /><i>[Brad:]</i> "Hey Mom, guess what? <br />I got invited to a party tonight! <br />And ... ADAM SANDLER - Pickin' Daisies
<br />6 What's the matter honey, are you not feeling well?<br />It's okay, Momma will take care of you<br />Not really sick, but don't you know I still say I am<br />Dad just mumbles, "There goes my girlie son acting up again"<br />How c... ADAM SANDLER - Red Hooded Sweatshirt
<br />My mom bought you when I was just 13,<br />the brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen.<br />She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out,<br />"That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout.<br />But we stuck together, we didn... ADAM SANDLER - Right Field
<br /><i>[Russel: Shouting]</i> "Come on Robert! Pitch it in there, baby! <br />We're behind you here in right field! One down! <br />Two to go! Hum it now! Yeah! Show 'em the magic! This chump can't hit!"<br /><i>[Whispering to himself]... ADAM SANDLER - Santa Song
<br />So many presents, <br />so little time,<br />Santa won't be coming around my house this year,<br />'cos I tried to drown my sister and I pierced my ear,<br />Oh mama made it perfectly clear,<br />Santa don't like bad boys...especia... ADAM SANDLER - Somebody Kill Me
<br /><i>[Spoken]</i><br />Ok, I just want to warn you that when I wrote this song I was listening to the <br />Cure a lot.<br /><br /><i>[Sung]</i><br />You don't know how much I need you.<br />While you're near me I don't feel blue.<br... ADAM SANDLER - Steve Polychronopolous
<br />- "Polychronopolous"<br /><br />I'm a big fuckin' dick<br />I'm a pain in your ass<br />I drink all your beer<br />I'll eat the last slice<br />I'll give you charley horses<br />I'll pull your shorts down at the beach<br />I always... ADAM SANDLER - Sweat Beatrice
<br />Hanging with my sweet amour<br />She came out with a lion's roar<br />Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store,<br />Be back at quarter to four"<br />"Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer"<br />She can be like a maiden from the day... ADAM SANDLER - Teenage Love On The Phone
<br /><i>[Richie:]</i> "So ya doin' good?"<br /><i>[Samantha:]</i> "Ya, I'm fine, how 'bout you?"<br /><i>[Richie:]</i> "How good could I be? I haven't seen you in three hours."<br /><i>[Samantha:]</i> "Ohhh, Richie. Hey Richie, my dad's... ADAM SANDLER - The Adventures Of The Cow
<br />"And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning <br />of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"<br /><br /><i>[Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]</i><br /><i>[Cow:]</i> Moo<br /><br />"And no... ADAM SANDLER - The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
<br />"And now, the sever beating of a high school bus driver."<br /><br /><i>[Kids getting on the bus]</i><br />"How are ya, Bryan?"<br />"Good morning, Lisa."<br />"Good to see ya, Tommy!"<br />"Hey, good morning, Cyle! Nice new backpa... ADAM SANDLER - The Beating Of A High School Janitor
<br />"And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor."<br /><br /><i>[Mopping sounds]</i><br />Mop, mop, mop<br />All day long<br />Mop, mop, mop<br />While I sing this song<br /><br /><i>[Sound of someone walking towards him]</i><... ADAM SANDLER - The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
<br />"And now the severe beating of a high school science teacher."<br /><br /><i>[Lecturing]</i><br />"Zinc is by far the best element."<br />"I also like plutonium."<br />"It's just fun to say."<br />"Plutonium."<br /><i>[Sound of som... ADAM SANDLER - The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
<br />"And now the severe beating of a high school spanish teacher."<br /><br /><i>[Lecturing]</i><br /><i>[Writing on chalk board]</i><br />"Juan es muy guapo."<br /><i>[Door opens, walking towards her]</i><br /><br />"Hola."<br />"Seno... ADAM SANDLER - The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
<br />"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."<br /><br /><i>[Dean:]</i> "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations <br />on your upcoming graduation and I understand <br /... ADAM SANDLER - The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
<br />"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian."<br /><br /><i>[Valedictorian:]</i> "I really appreciate you're asking me out. <br />Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."<br /><b... ADAM SANDLER - The Chanuka Song
<br />"Okay...<br />This is a song that uhh..<br />There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh..<br />not too many Chanukah songs.<br />So uhh..<br />I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear <br /... ADAM SANDLER - The Chanukah Song (II)
<br />Put on your yarmulke<br />Its time for Chanukah<br />So much funnaka<br />To celebrate Chanukah<br /><br />Chanukah is the festival of lights<br />Instead of one day of presents<br />We get eight crazy nights<br /><br />When you fe... ADAM SANDLER - The Cheerleader
<br /><i>[Sound of pom-poms]</i><br /><i>[Cheerleader: With annoying feminine voice]</i> <br />"Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!"<br /><i>[Performing cheer]</i><br /><i>[Cheerleader:]</i> "United, we are united.. We'll be 'cause we'r...