Joining The Cult
Listenin' To The Radio
The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
Toll Booth Willie
The Lonesome Kicker
The Beating Of A High School Janitor
The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
Four Years Old
Assistant Principal's Big Day
The Longest Pee
The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
Do It For Your Mama
by: ADAM SANDLER
[J.N.:] "I can make a bigger splash than you!"
[Jimmy:] "Oh yeah, give it a shot."
[While jumping up and down on diving board]
[J.N.:] "Can opener!"
[Jimmy:] "Man, that one was huge."
[J.N.:] "You go."
[While running towards pool]
[Jimmy:] "Ahhhh, jacknife!"
[Jumps in and small splash]
[Tracy:] "That was a dud, Jimmy."
[Jimmy:] "Shutup, Tracy."
[Tracy:] "You shutup."
[Door opens, walks over]
[Momma:] "Lunch time kids."
[Kids yelling happily]
[Momma:] "I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantelope.
I figured you could eat a little food and and then maybe play with yer cock and balls fer a while."
[J.N.:] "I'm just gonna eat, mom."
[Momma:] "All right. And then maybe a little later, you can play with yer cock and balls fer momma."
[J.N.:] "I don't think so."
[Momma:] "Ok. Slow down Jimmy, yer already halfway done with yer sandwhich.
You're gonna get a belly ache."
[Jimmy:] "No I'm not. I'm hungry."
[Momma:] "I know, but you shouldn't so fast.
You're rushing honey, you're gonna choke. Put down your sandwhich and beat off your cock and balls for a little bit. Pace yourself."
[Jimmy:] "Oh god."
[Momma:] "Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?"
[Tracy:] "No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat."
[Momma:] "What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy."
[Tracy:] "Guy said last summer I looked better in a bathing suit, so I'm gonna try to lose like three or four pounds."
[Momma:] "Awww, sweetheart.
You've got so much to learn.
Guy doesn't want you to lose weight, baby.
It's just his way of telling you he wants you to smack around his cock and balls some more, honey.
He's got some balls and some cock. You gotta stroke his schlong or at least bite his nuts."
[Momma:] "You're scared, aren't ya honey.
You want momma to help you?
Momma will stroke Guy's penis for him.
No one has to know. I'll sneak in when it's dark."
[Tracy:] "No! Mom, please!"
[Momma:] "You don't know how to tug on the cock and balls?
You need momma to show you?
Get me a carrot, sweetheart.
Where are you going!?"
[J.N.:] "Mom, where's the suntan lotion?"
[Momma:] "It's under the chair baby.
You gonna lube up yer cock and balls and wack it for a little bit?"
[J.N.:] "Uhh, no. I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt."
[Momma:] "Smart thinking honey.
And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him."
[Momma:] "What Jimmy. Why don't you let your brother wack your cock and nuts for a little bit.
You're not playing with them right now so why not let him. Share, baby!"
[Jimmy:] "You're weird mom! I'm going swimming!"
[Momma:] "Oh, you shouldn't swim for a half an hour. I read that."
[Momma:] "Because you just ate, honey.
And you'll get cramps.
Why don't you just lay on the side of the pool and jiggle your balls for momma."
[Jimmy:] "It's ok. I'll stay in the shallow end."
[Momma:] "Ok, baby. But don't hurt yourself with that big juicy hog of yours."
[Jimmy:] "Hey, J.N. Throw me that frisby."
[J.N.:] "Here! Whoops!"
[Sails over and falls to the ground]
[Jimmy:] "Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard."
[Momma:] "Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it.
Momma will make everything all right.
J.N. you watch Jimmy and make sure he's safe in that water."
[J.N.:] "Ok, ma."
[Momma:] "And if you want you can beat your cock and balls. Hi Mr. Chasen!"
[Mr. Chasen: "Oh, hi Emily. How are you?"
[Momma:] "Oh, the boys threw the frisbee over the fence again.
And there it is under the bush."
[Mr. Chasen:] "I'll get it for you."
[Momma:] "Sorry. Thank you.
And while your under that bush, why don't you jack around your cock and balls for yourself.
You can stare at my jugs and play with that healthy wang of yours."
[Mr. Chasen:] "No, I'll just.. I'll just get your frisbee."
[Momma:] "All right baby."
[Mr. Chasen:] "Here you go."
[Momma:] "Thank you. Thanks. Thank Mr. Chasen, boys!"
[Boys:] "Thanks Mr. Chasen!"
[Mr. Chasen:] "You're welcome fellas."
[Momma:] "Have a good day.
Oh, and..and tell your son Tommy,
if he wants to come over later and play with his cock and balls with the kids he's always welcome.
I don't know what happened with him a
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